Some things money can buy....

I bumped into this interesting read on happiness.

Apparently you are happy if you are:

1. Relishing the day
2. Dodging traffic
3. Seeing friends
4. Buying memories
5. Limiting options

Isn't it great that finally we have a bullet-point road-map to happiness? Wish they made it a little more funky, you know, used Flash Player, that happy holidays ringtone and a bunny that would grab the attention of the women(with all due respect)

I yielded to the obvious tempatation of taking such things online seriously and scoring my software self on this little algorithm of happiness. Here goes:

1. Relishing the day: Naah. I get up at 6. 30 in the goddamn morning(if you think that is late the I'll assume that you work in a different timezone). And that's to reach the mile-away bus stop in time to catch my ride to office. My first glimpse of humanity is when I get into the bus - the people in the bus look like Navjot Singh Sidhu has been talking to them all night - tells me that 'Relishing the day' is out of the question. It's freaking out of syllabus.

I actually have the honour of switching on the lights when I reach office (I'm NOT making this up) unless that is snatched away by some unfortunate soul who has a Schumacher fan for a driver. Yes, I work at a place when we take turns, and occassionally pride(not forgetting the overworked night-shifter firing his morning salvo in front of our Project Manager) in turning on ..... the lights.

I think the project manager is loaded with 'relish sensors'; nothing else could explain his unexpected appearances at times when the comrades enjoy a chuckle over a shady office PJ or indulge in that rare loathsome anti-establishment outburst or share that Kodak moment - the one with the 'I have no work' wink. At all these time, the PM unleashes his signature relish killer - that excel sheet that needs some attention, that process powerpoint that needs more punch or that late evening call with firnags that needs attendance. All the 'relish' is flushed down and out and is followed by the PM's satisfactory burp.

2. Dodging Traffic: Not in Bangalore.

3. Seeing friends: Possible. Considering that 1of my last 7 weekends was spent with friends, I still have some hopes. Its not that I am not the social types. I make the effort, I really do. But it's the first half of the movie. Remember, the climax is always in the second half where there are many ways your plans can get torpedoed. Typically it is:

1. Traffic
2. Weather .......and if these two are on your side then
3. Friend's boyfriend.......or
4. Friend's girlfriend
5. Big Fat line in the movie hall/restaurant

And even when the meeting does happen, the conversation is not the much anticipated emotional escapade. In tune with the times, the talk begins typically with the news of someone getting engaged or married, of someone trying to go onsite, of someone getting the money just in time for that new apartment, of someone's new car and the mint fresh scratch on it after the incident with Rick Shaw. The evening is spent in avoiding the 'What about you? What are your plans?' question, and when that pops, the mind goes spiralling down the abyssmal depths of anxiety.

Given all this, 1 of 7 is not bad actually. You know what is actually bad? sitting at home for more than 72 hours straight....umm...make that 73.5

4. Buying Memories: Worth a shot. I will leave no outing unphotographed in future. I can also amuse myself by morphing my face on that bungee jumper on page 3.

5. Limiting Options: Ha!

So my happiness index looks more like Bush's approval ratings right now, but the silver lining is that it can go down any further - guess that's a reason to smile..... :)